against the grain

against the grain (opposed to the common expectation or opinion) — вразрез с чем-л. (привычным, общепринятым и пр.); против течения; ≅ против шерсти

go against the grain (with) (to be completely different from what you feel is right, natural, or normal for you)
— противоречить своим принципам; быть не по душе; не по нутру; быть не в чьем-л. характере
If something that you have to do goes against the grain (with you) you don't like doing it because it's not what you'd naturally do.

Example 1: It went against the grain for her to be strict. — Не в ее характере было проявлять строгость. Ей претило проявлять строгость.

Example 2: His coarse and rude ways went against the grain with me. — Его грубые манеры были мне не по нутру.

go against the grain (with) (to do things very differently than the way they are normally done) — противоречить общепринятому, идти вразрез с привычным, общепринятым; идти против течения

..... To be a vegetarian in Poland is really going against the grain. — ...равносильно тому, чтобы бросить вызов общепринятому, пойти против течения.
..... These ​days it goes against the grain to show too much ​respect for ​authority.

see also
[rub sb the wrong way]

be out of character

Example 1: It's out of her character to be strict.
Example 2: It rubs her against the grain to be strict.

grain (the lines on wood) — древесные волокна
If you’re sanding or chopping /cutting wood, it’s easier if you do it along the grain (=the same direction as the grain). But easier isn’t always better. If you do something different from what’s expected, or oppose something that’s widely accepted, you’re going against the grain.